Why Is Every Ad Trying to Make Me Skinny or Broke?
I've been noticing something recently, which I'm sure a lot of you have, which is that every single ad now is either for GLP 1s or Gambling.
Apparently, those are the two American dreams left: lose weight or lose your rent.
I sit on the subway and the ads are a montage of people either jabbing themselves with Wegovy or scrolling Polymarket to bet on the midterm elections.
Ads used to sell you a better life, now it's just different ways to stop having lunch: no appetite or no money.
Then, I watch a show on Hulu it's the same thing! Every ad break is either: “Can't stop eating fatty, take a shot!" Or "Can't pay your bills, Falcons moneyline!"
I don't do GLP1s or the gambling apps, but as a spectator, it's starting to feel like both things are owned by the same overlords.
Do you remember when we found out that cigarettes and nicotine patches were owned by the same people? It feels kind of like that, where they get your money either way.
The overlords are watching: “Great news: since the shot, he’s spending less on groceries!”
“Excellent. Does he know he can bet the money he's saving on the Taiwanese mayoral race?”
If you think about it, it's a perfect business pairing to own because if no one's eating, you have more money to light on fire on DraftKings or Kalshi.
When people talk about the apocalypse, they always talk about the post-nuclear hellscape, the abandoned highways, siphoning gas, but they never talk about what people were doing in their houses the Tuesday before.
The future's just gonna be people checking their Chase app Monday morning, seeing what's left after they lost on that lock of a five-leg parlay.
Some guy opens his bank account, "Sorry honey, looks like no groceries this week."
Then he opens the fridge. Nothing but an injection pen and a Mich Ultra.
He jabs himself in the stomach as his wife goes, “No groceries, what are we doing for dinner? I thought we had something in the stove?”
"Oh, sorry honey, I sold the stove to cover the spread. Here, take a shot."
They both sit down on the couch, emaciated, to watch The Bear, and the next ad starts: “At DraftKings, we believe nobody should go hungry. That’s why we’ve partnered with Wegovy to help you stop noticing!”
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